"When I was six, I had to do an operation. Nothing serious, but needed anesthesia. Had already been pre-medicated and was feeling good. But when I look in the room where doctors and nurses were preparing for operation it was like I had to go through an impenetrable gate. It's not that I feel miss my mom. Do not think that I missed my father, even though he was good to me. It was like I was completely alone in the universe. As if my whole body was filled with loneliness and tears."